


Insomniac

by kihyxns



Series: Insomniac [6]
Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Insomniac!Younghyun, M/M, Multi, Panic Attacks, The usual insomniac fic from this series you all know it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 17:59:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10702185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kihyxns/pseuds/kihyxns
Summary: Younghyun feels out of sorts sometimes. Disconnected from the majority of normality. He usually pins that down to his insufferable insomnia, but his members help drag him back down to reality.





	Insomniac

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again!! It's me with another insomniac! I really love DAY6, and if you're just here from reading through my series then please give them a chance!! They're such a great band and a very underrated JYP act that deserve some more love. I would recommend colours, its my favourite DAY6 song, and listen to their most recent comeback I'm Serious, they're coming back every 6th of the month so make sure to look out for them!!  
> Anyway, slight triggers for panic attacks on this on in the 5th piece so skip that if you please. Please enjoy, leave kudos and comments!!!! I really really really love comments!!!!!

Younghyun feels out of sorts sometimes. Disconnected from the majority of normality. He usually pins that down to his insufferable insomnia, but his members help drag him back down to reality. 

1.

It's not often that Younghyun feels the tug of Canada. It was only four fleeting years that were spent there, friends almost forgotten in the business of the entertainment industry. But he still longs for the cold air of familiarity, and the warm sense of being that he once felt. 

He's only close enough with one person to share this feeling, Jae. Jae _understands_. He understands the whole mapping of his feelings when he slips down into the dark constituency. So when he feels the sickness of what he used to call home rise threateningly up his throat, he moves to cling to Jae, hoping that he doesn't annoy him that much. 

Jae can see right through Younghyun's actions. He sees his hesitant nature that surrounds him when he falls into this. Jae immediately moves to accommodate him, hoping that his silent actions help Younghyun to feel just a little better. 

Younghyun mopes around the dorm, feeling indifferent to anything anyone could offer him. Sleeplessness washes over him, a massive wave of itching for rest and agitation drowning him. He feels a deep sickness for home calling him, and he's unable to respond. He moves around, seeing Wonpil and Dowoon asleep on the sofa together. Sungjin sits near, casting his watchful leadership eyes over them. He can hear the shower run in the background, which means Jae is occupied. He places a light hand on Sungjin's shoulder, telling him that he's going over to the studio for a while. Sungjin turns slightly, facing him, watching for any signs of hurt to stop him from leaving at this late enough hour. Sungjin lets him go, warning not to stay long. Younghyun thanks him, saying he won't take long, even though he's hoping that he'll wear himself out enough to catch a couple hours of fitful sleep. 

Younghyun chucks on his worn out trainers, pulls his coat around his shoulders a little bit tighter and walks out the door, hoping that what he's feeling will wash away with a little space away from the hectic life that is the dorm. The cold air materialises in front of his eyes, his hands stuffed in his pockets as he walks to the JYP building. He gives a small smile to the receptionist, quickly moving to day6's practice rooms in the building. He spots Yugyeom still working in the room beside theirs, knowing that Jaebum will come to get him soon. 

Younghyun settles into his chair, looking longingly at the bass that sits gently against at the side of the room. He brings his worn notepad along to the instrument, hoping this late night feeling will bring out some night owl creativity within him. He starts to strum, resting his tired head on the wall of the practice room. A fuzzy feeling permeates the silence in his head, filling it with what he likes to call a cotton wool feeling. It's usually what happens with his emotions spill over the brim of his metaphorical cup. He tries to ignore it, to continue to write the song he started with Wonpil earlier in the week, but it soon turns to self loathing of his lyrical senses and all hopes of a restful night fall out of his mind. 

Younghyun feels regret as he clicks on a folder on his phone called 'Canada'. He knows this is the worst idea, that it will just fuel the homesickness that is currently plaguing his mind. But he still does it. Some sort of sadistic feeling forces him to flick through memories of Canada, to relive some of his favourite moments. Tears start to spill eventually, stark reminders of how far he is away from everything he used to be able to call home. 

He is glad that Sungjin is responsible and has a weird sort of sense for when anyone is feeling slightly off the normal. Because he sends Jae who walks into the room, and removes his phone from his hands. He gently takes Younghyun's beloved bass from his back, placing it delicately on its usual stand. Jae drags a chair over, settling in beside Younghyun's now shaking figure. Younghyun tries to hold his tears back, not wanting to seem emotional in front of Jae, because Jae has it so _so_ _**so**_ much worse than Younghyun could ever know. 

Jae places a warm arm around Younghyun's trembling back, coaxing his head to lie on his shoulder. Jae leans his chin over Younghyun's head, peacefully letting out a sigh. He rubs large circles on Younghyun's back, hoping it will calm him down enough so that he can talk. Younghyun wraps a loose arm around Jae's waist, draping his hand weakly in an attempt to get even closer. 

"What's wrong?" Jae asks in English, knowing that's usually the way Younghyun likes to speak with him when he's like this. 

"Homesickness," Younghyun manages to choke out, hating the word as he speaks it. 

"Everyone gets a little homesickness now and again, it's nothing to fret over y'know," Jae calms, making sure he speaks slow enough for Younghyun to fully understand. 

"But you have it so much worse and I'm just sat here, crying my eyes out at a place I only lived in for four years," 

"Four years is a long time when you think about it," 

"How, just how do you deal with this feeling?" Younghyun asks desperately, needing answers. 

"You don't, you just cope," Jae whispers, holding him close. 

They stay silent for a while, the only sounds being Younghyun's choking tears. Jae just sits with him, drawing patterns onto the length of his back, hoping that it will calm him  
down enough to go back home. 

He succeeds, after a little coaxing, in getting Younghyun on his feet and ready to move. Younghyun keeps his hand firmly grasped in Jae's as he moves out of the building and towards the dorm. It doesn't take long for them both to get back, seeming that Younghyun is exhausted from crying and just wants to go home now. Jae ferries him inside the building and leads him into the dorm. Sungjin is sat awake on the sofa, probably waiting for them both to get back home. 

"Don't worry, the maknae's are in bed," Sungjin smiles softly as Younghyun attempts to hide his face in Jae's shoulder. Jae sends a gentle smile to Sungjin, slowly moving towards their shared room. Sungjin reaches out and ruffles Younghyun's hair affectionately, knowing he doesn't want to talk to him just yet. 

Younghyun quickly slips out of his uncomfortable jeans and slides under the duvet just wanting to fall straight asleep. Jae does the same, sitting next to a lump of duvet that he knows as Younghyun. His hair is poking out of the heavily concealed lump, prompting Jae to gently run his fingers through the throughly dyed hair. It really doesn't take long for Younghyun's breathing to even steadily out and for Jae to relax a little in his seat. He soon allows himself to fall asleep as well, knowing that Younghyun is peaceful beside him. 

Sungjin slips into their room at one point before he retreats to his own. He sees Jae sat up, asleep, against the headboard of Younghyun's bed, his hand in his hair. While Younghyun is still a lump of duvet curled up at the side where the wall is cold. Sungjin can just feel himself make a sappy expression as he pats Jae's arm softly in an attempt to get him to wake up just enough so he can work him easily down next to Younghyun. Luckily Jae is compliant enough to effortlessly manoeuvre himself down, wrapping his arms gently around Younghyun's waist after he does. Sungjin just tucks the duvet over them both, drawing the blinds after he does. He sneaks back out after, content with knowing that they're together. 

2\. 

Muscles and cuddles are inversely proportional to each other, according to Wonpil, but Younghyun knows not to think too deeply into it. Dowoon to Younghyun is, yes mostly muscles, but he has a tinge of softness that no one else can bring out in him but them. He has this wide gummy smile that just so happens to appear when everyone needs it the most, and a weird but seeming useful ability to gauge everyone's emotions in a given situation. They could not have asked for a better maknae, Younghyun especially. 

It's been one long ass ride of a week Younghyun thinks. Nothing has really sat that right with him all week and it doesn't seem to be helping his sleeping habits. It once again appears to be a night spent alone, with Jae blissfully unaware of his predicament next to him. Yet he doesn't take into account the maknae sent from the heavens to come check up on him in the middle of the night. Dowoon opens the door as quietly as he can, making sure no light from the hallway escapes into the darkened bedroom. He immediately spots Younghyun awake, looking up at him. He looks to Jae, making sure he is still asleep before motioning to Younghyun to come with him. Younghyun silently follows, knowing there's nothing else to be doing. 

"Why did you come check up on us?" Younghyun whispers as soon as the door is shut. 

"Habit," Dowoon answers mysteriously, gently taking Younghyun's hand and pulling him into the living room. Younghyun just accepts the answer, not thinking much of it. 

"Wait why are you awake anyway?" Younghyun asks yet another question as Dowoon sits him down on the worn, but still comfortable, sofa. 

"Because it seemed like you wouldn't be able to sleep tonight so I wanted to see if everything was okay," Dowoon says softly, slipping his large arms around Younghyun's slim shoulders. 

"Yeah everything's okay, just a bit of long week," Younghyun answers, cuddling into Dowoon's shoulder as he does. Younghyun feels kind of guilty, he's the hyung in the situation, he should be looking after Dowoon, not the other way around. 

"What's on your mind?" Dowoon asks, trying to prompt Younghyun to reveal whatever is troubling him. 

"Oh well, it's just a bit weird, I mean I am the hyung, it should be me cuddling you," Younghyun spills as Dowoon hugs him that little bit tighter. 

"Don't be like that hyung, I want to help," Dowoon exclaims, moving Younghyun's small body into his chest.

"Sorry, I just can't help it," Younghyun apologises, burying his face into Dowoon's rising chest. Dowoon wraps his secure arm around Younghyun, making sure he's comfortable. 

"Hyung it doesn't matter, just fall asleep," Dowoon smiles, carding his calloused fingers through Younghyun's bleached hair. It's sort of brittle but still soft enough. 

Younghyun soon falls asleep to the rhythm of Dowoon's hand sweeping circles on his back and the beat of his strong, grounding breathing. 

3\. 

Sungjin constantly tries his best to keep a hold on all four of the people he has under him. It hasn't been easy, especially not with Younghyun's ever crippling insomnia. Jae's slight language barrier never helped either, and Dowoon's shyness added onto his struggles but not once would he ever seriously complain about it. He wouldn't change his members for the world. 

But there were some days when he can't keep a grasp on them all, days when he wished they would all just stop moving so he could concentrate on all their needs much more easily. But alas that never happens, definitely on days like today. 

When Younghyun steps into the kitchen at approximately six am, Sungjin takes one look at him and just _**knows**_ that he hasn't slept at all the previous night. It doesn't take long for Younghyun to slump beside him, resting his head on Sungjin's shoulder as he does. 

"Long day today," Sungjin says, wrapping a loose arm around Younghyun's crumpled waist. 

"Don't I know it," Younghyun replies, the exhausted tone to his voice extremely apparent in the early morning. Jae just sets a bowl of some sort of cereal in front of him and sits down opposite them. 

"Long days are always testing, but we'll get through it, we always do," Jae smiles encouragingly. 

Sungjin is so, so grateful for Jae's existence at times like these. He's not around as much as he used to be, with being dragged off for all sorts of reasons, which means Sungjin's been left with more responsibility then he can handle at some points. It's not like Jae was a pivotal point in controlling 'the kids' that was always Sungjin's job, but he's always been careful and helpful with Younghyun and it took that stress off his back when he really needed it. But Jae's been forced to hand Younghyun over a little more these days, and Sungjin is always afraid that he won't be able to be there for him like Jae has always been. Younghyun would never say a word against him, never wanting to make anyone unhappy because of his insomnia but even Sungjin knows it's been harder and harder to sleep lately and he can't help but think that he's the source of the problem. He's just not as good as Jae. 

"Yeah, don't worry about it, we'll get through it, just like Jae said," Sungjin seconds after snapping out of his small mind wander. Younghyun just nods along, squishing his cheek into Sungjin's shoulder, none of what was spoken really going in. 

Younghyun feels thinned out, stretched a little too far and hard. After JYP suggested the idea of EveryDay6 they were all on board, thinking that the space between promotions was just too large and this would be a good opportunity to get themselves out there. However Younghyun didn't think forward enough to the stress and anxiety that it would put on his shoulders. Having a comeback every single month really wore him down and made his insomnia worse and worse and worse. He is reluctant to lean on Sungjin and Jae, but he refuses to hand some of his burdens over to the maknae's, they've got enough to deal with. He knows he can't keep going like this, he'll snap at some point, but it never wants that day to happen. 

He clambers into whatever the stylists picked out for him last night, and tries to forget about the lingering impacts of a sleepless night. Wonpil clings onto him as he chucks his bass onto his back, and he savours the easy warmth he brings. Maybe today would go well. He could only hope. 

It's barely midday and Younghyun is feeling the effects a little too harshly. He leans his head back on the chair he's currently sat on, wrapping his arms around himself securely. Sungjin already ordered the maknae's silence about an hour ago, meaning they've been quietly signing albums for a while now, except Wonpil looks like he's falling asleep on Dowoon's chest, but that doesn't matter really. Younghyun's been given enough space for his thoughts to linger and run wild all morning. He's been in quite the dazed state for a couple hours now and just hopes the feeling passes soon. 

Sungjin gives him an encouraging pat as they walk towards the stage, and when Younghyun locks eyes with him he knows it'll all be over soon, they'll be back home all cuddled up together in the dorm, not caring about anything but each other. That gives him the energy to keep going, to do one last performance until the next day starts up and the feeling floods back at him. But that can all wait, because as Sungjin takes his hand in his and pulls him down off the stage he knows that everything will work out as it will, and that everything will be solved somehow. He just has to wait a little for that to happen. 

Apparently he doesn't have to wait much longer. When the combined effort of Wonpil and Dowoon drag him out of the car they've been bundled in and into the dorm, he can feel his eyelids want to drop. Jae and Sungjin immediately notice and forfeit the first of the showers and allow Younghyun to rinse himself of the day first. 

Within the hour Younghyun is tucked under a blanket on the only sofa they own in the living room. Some random kdrama that Wonpil is obsessing over is playing on the TV but Younghyun isn't really paying attention. Sungjin has managed to rest his chin on the top of Younghyun's head, with both arms wrapped around his chest, holding Younghyun's hands. Dowoon has curled himself on the other side of the sofa, wrapped up in his own little blanket. Jae is indulging Wonpil in his kdrama addiction all whilst smothering him in affection while he does it. Younghyun could not feel happier as he lets his eyelids close shut. His breathing soon levels off and finally he sleeps. 

Sungjin smiles as Jae ferries Wonpil and Dowoon into their beds, leaving the two of them to sleep happily on the sofa all night. 

He feels safer now, having the knowledge that he can help Younghyun just as Jae does, and that it works well. It calms his constantly spiralling thoughts about them all. And as Younghyun sleeps calmly on his chest Sungjin couldn't want anything else in the world. 

4.

Wonpil is always slightly scared of Younghyun's insomnia. Well he's not scared of Younghyun, because Younghyun is all sunshine and rainbows to him and Wonpil could never be scared of him. But it's when he becomes vacant and lacks sleep does he become slightly scared. Wonpil never ever wants to hurt or hinder Younghyun. All he ever can want is for Younghyun to fall asleep easily and peacefully and never have to worry about sleep ever. But unfortunately this is a cruel world and Younghyun has just had to deal with it. Yet Wonpil is always afraid of making it worse, somehow. He feels as if his actions just make Younghyun worse and he couldn't deal with that. So he usually stays away. But that doesn't seem to help either. Which means Wonpil never really knows what to do. Luckily Younghyun helps him along. 

It's been a long and draining day. Younghyun sits in the studio with Wonpil trying to get the last couple ideas out before they go back home to the dorm. Wonpil taps heavily on the keys of his keyboard, feeling lethargic. Younghyun is quite the same, strumming haphazardly as he goes. His eyelids feel weighed down with the anxiety of how much he will sleep tonight. Soon they both look at each other and say 'It's time to go home,' 

They both know Sungjin will be waiting for them, half asleep on the sofa as usual anyway so they might as well spare him for once. Wonpil rises first, getting up and shutting his keyboard down and out for the night. Younghyun soon follows after and puts his bass away next to Jae's and Sungjin's guitars. Wonpil links his hand with Younghyun and makes a move to leave. Younghyun sleepily follows him, allowing him to guide them both through the streets and into the dorm. 

Wonpil, in all fairness, does a good job in making sure Younghyun gets back to the dorm unharmed and absolutely ready to fall straight asleep. Sungjin sends one of his trademark soft dad smiles at Wonpil when he walks in, letting Sungjin kiss him on his forehead and retire to bed. Wonpil stands in the living room, nerves rolling off him because Sungjin has left him with the responsibility of Younghyun, alone. And Wonpil doesn't exactly know what to do. 

Younghyun however pulls him in the direction of his own room, tugging Wonpil along until they reach the soft covers of Younghyun's bed. Neither of them are properly dressed, still wearing whatever they chucked on this morning, but Younghyun half heartily throws Wonpil into the covers with him and grasps at the t-shirt covering his chest. 

"Are you tired?" Wonpil asks, stupid question he thinks but it's worth asking. 

"Yeah, song writing always wears me out," Younghyun replies, exhaustion worn deeply into his voice. 

"Do you want me to stay?" Wonpil asks hesitantly, not knowing if he's doing the right thing for Younghyun by staying. 

Younghyun doesn't really reply, instead just clinging onto Wonpil's arm and dragging him deeper into the covers. Wonpil takes it as a yes and moves to take his jacket off, knowing that there's no point of keeping it on at all. Younghyun is being clingy but soon Wonpil manages to remove his jacket, Younghyun's jacket and move them both into a comfortable enough position to sleep in. Younghyun is curled up into Wonpil's side, an arm thrown around Wonpil's slim waist. Wonpil's wrapped an arm around Younghyun's shoulder's, hugging him tightly. 

"Today was good," Younghyun mumbles, his eyelids quickly shutting. 

"Today was good because we spent it together," Wonpil replies sappily, beginning to card his fingers through Younghyun's hair. 

It doesn't take long for the sensation to wash over Younghyun and send him straight to sleep. Wonpil knows he's done the right thing this time. 

5.

Younghyun remembers when his eyes didn't drip with the same melting affection for his members as they do now. He remembers when he didn't feel the warmth from them as much as he does now. He remembers when they didn't know and how much he hated them not knowing. 

But right now Younghyun lays in the middle of a cuddle pile on Jae's bed. Originally it was Wonpil that invaded their room and Dowoon quickly got out of his bed and into Jae's. Jae just accepted the fact that Wonpil and Dowoon are in his bed and joined his youngest members. Younghyun soon got dragged in by the perpetrator Kim Wonpil himself and promptly had a fluffy blanket covering him, with Dowoon and Wonpil sandwiching him in a hug. Sungjin soon came to find them all and also got pulled down into the cuddle pile and that was that really. 

"Hyung stop squashing my leg it's going dead," Wonpil complains, Jae's torso resting on his right leg uncomfortably. This leads Dowoon to voice his complaints and they all just start laughing at the maknae's. 

Younghyun looks over the tangle of legs and arms that surround him. He tugs the fluffy blanket a little closer to his body and resumes running his hand through Wonpil's hair in constant motions, sending him to sleep as he does. Younghyun lets out a content, breathy sigh, this is all he wants, all he ever needs. His members might not be perfect, they might be very under appreciated and the list could go on, but Younghyun is just _happy_ that he gets to live this sort of life with them because he sure as hell didn't live like it before. 

;

Younghyun stirs awake, haunting images lingering at the back of his mind. He shakes the feeling of grit off his body and begins to stand as quietly as possible. Dowoon is asleep peacefully above him, Jae is snoring away on his bed alongside him and he definitely does not want to wake them up at all. He sneaks with the escapability of a mouse, hoping his feet sticking slightly to the linoleum of the kitchen doesn't wake Sungjin or Wonpil. He grabs himself a cool glass of water and hopes that calms his racing heart. These nightmares _**have**_ to stop, if not for him for the wellness of the group. He can't keep this up much longer. 

After shaking his limbs to try and rid himself of this sticky feeling he creeps back to bed, laying awake until Sungjin 'wakes him up' in a good four hours time. 

The nights start to draw out longer and longer, minutes painstaking bleed their way into hours, the time ticking ever so slowly. Younghyun despises it. He's staring out of the window in the living room, the faint buzz of the TV humming in the background starting to annoy him. He likes the peacefulness that the night brings. He hates how alone he starts to feel. 

And the feeling never seems to get better. Sometimes he sits outside the bedroom doors, leaning against the small strip of wall that rests in between just to hear the sounds of soft, even breathing. Just to hear how it sounds like to be normal. Other times he paces silently around the limited space in the dorm, half hoping no one will see him and half hoping someone will. 

It soon turns into a cycle that Younghyun's live seems to revolve around. Cycles that he wants to destroy and break out of but that never seems to happen. Either he wakes from a nightmare or sleep decides to come in fits of wakefulness. It's a toss up of not being able to get to sleep or not being able to stay asleep and Younghyun isn't even the master of the choice. It's driving him insane now. 

One day he watches his members crowd around each other on the sofa, all falling delicately into a pile of hugs and affection that Younghyun hasn't seen within them before. He's stood in the doorway of the dorm, leaning gently against the frame, wondering how they even got into that state. 

"Did you have a good time?" Sungjin asks softly, referencing to the radio show that Younghyun has scheduled. 

"Yeah the hyung's treated me right," Younghyun replies, slowly moving off the doorframe and into the living room. His body feels sluggish and his eyelids burn with sleep deprivation, but he knows that the second he falls into his bedsheets his mind will fall into overdrive once more. 

"Come join us hyung!" Wonpil says from his position on the sofa. His head lays in Dowoon's lap with his feet dangling off the edge of the armrest, a blanket haphazardly thrown over the two of them. 

Sungjin gives him the look of 'I don't want you to be left out so join us or Wonpil will make you,' while Jae sends him that warm melting look that he occasionally sees from time to time. 

"Okay, okay just let me get dressed," Younghyun agrees, quickly placing his bass down and walking to his room. He chucks on whatever hoodie he lays his hands on first, pulling on the first pair of shorts he finds as well and moves back to them all. 

They've hollowed out a space for him at the centre, manoeuvring Wonpil to lay in Sungjin's lap with his torso in Dowoon's. He sits next to Jae and Dowoon who immediately wrap themselves around him comfortably, making sure the TV can be seen in their position. 

And again the buzz of the TV hums in the background as he curls up into Jae's arms, taking in the warmth provided my all his members. Yet this time he doesn't have any nightmares. 

He sees it then. Well the morning after. He wakes up, well rested, for the first time in months and pins it to the fact that he wasn't alone. Now he knows that continuing to keep this dirty little secret a secret can't happen. He has to tell them. He has to tell them soon. Before it all spirals out of his control. 

Unfortunately Younghyun is never good at admitting things even when they need to be said. So instead of telling them that yes he has insomnia and that he's struggling so damn much he just dances around it, hoping no one notices exactly what he's doing. He doesn't account for Sungjin's strong eye over the group and their wellbeing, or the fact that he spends the majority of his time these days with Wonpil song writing, the most emotionally active one of them all. 

Sungjin is quick to notice when he hears the all too familiar sound of feet sticking to the linoleum in the kitchen. A part of him wants to jump out of his bed and say 'I caught you!' straight into Younghyun's face. But he won't. He knows that Younghyun needs to come to him or someone else first otherwise nothing will ever improve. It doesn't stop his heart aching at the little taps of feet in the middle of the night, reminding him of how much Younghyun struggles to get through each day. 

Eventually Younghyun reaches the crossroads of dilemmas. It's gone from being manageable to literally dangerously dancing with his health, and Younghyun doesn't think he could take the disappointed look in Sungjin's eyes if he was admitted to hospital. The dark circles that lie under his eyes have become permanently indented there, the sleepless shake of desperation has worked its way into his bones constantly taunting him. He can't break the anxiety of actually going to bed and being able to sleep anymore. And day by day it just gets worse, so he cracks. Cracks into a million pieces on the floor, but maybe breaking was the best thing he could have done. At least they'll be there to put him back together. 

It's late when he wakes with a held back gasp. The stars and moon shine outside, the dim light working its way through the tightly drawn blinds. Younghyun shakes with anxiety of the dream, still being able to feel things crawl under his skin. He makes it about three seconds before involuntarily letting out the most heart wrenching sob his members swear they've ever heard. 

Jae is the first to his side, being the closest. He sits as calmly as possible in front of Younghyun, placing calloused palms on top of the soft skin of Younghyun's knees. Dowoon follows as the sobs don't seem to want to stop, sliding himself behind Younghyun, leaning against the back of his bed frame. Sungjin runs in next, the expression on his face frantic at the thought that one of his members is hurting. Wonpil is hot on his heels, running straight into the bunk bed itself before sitting hastily down on Jae's abandoned bed. 

Jae engulfs Younghyun in a hug, with Dowoon draping himself over Younghyun's back as well. Jae wraps his arms around Dowoon's back, sandwiching Younghyun between the both of them. Younghyun rests his head in the juncture of Jae's shoulder, crying pitifully into the soft skin of his neck.

"It's okay baby, it's okay to cry, we're here now, we're all here," Jae speaks softly, breathing slowly to try and calm a extremely scared Younghyun down. 

Sungjin extends a small hand out and grasps onto the flesh of Younghyun's hip, smoothing circles in the fabric with his thumb. Wonpil places his head in the gap between Jae's arms and Younghyun's body, lying it there calmly. Soon the sobs drown out to sniffles and they're all left wondering what happened. 

"Why did that happen?" Sungjin asks first, moving his hand from Younghyun's hip into his bleached hair. 

"I had a nightmare," Younghyun replies, his voice raw from the sobbing, "but there's something else," he starts, knowing this has to be the moment he tells them. 

"What is it baby?" Jae spurs on, promoting Younghyun to speak again. 

And Younghyun does. He spills about the alone times, the constant headaches and wishes he was normal. The nights spend in self loathing of his very being. The days spent so exhausted that he could barely move. The battle within himself that took place under their noses. Wonpil is the first one to cry, with Dowoon showing a close second. Even Sungjin sheds a tear as he brings Younghyun to stand on shaky legs before squeezing him into the tightest hug he can muster. 

"Baby why, why didn't you tell us?" Sungjin asks, wrapping firm and stable arms closely around Younghyun's trembling back. 

"Because I thought it would be too burdensome for you to handle," Younghyun confesses, dropping some of his weight onto Sungjin's grounding body. 

"No, no, no!" Dowoon exclaims, moving his hands wildly as he explains how much they all love Younghyun and could never ever think anything like that. Younghyun feels so so loved, and the affection just drips from his eyes. They all end in fits of tears, a mixture of happy and sad. They know, and the weight just dissipates into thin air. 

;

Now as Younghyun cuddles with at least one of them pretty much every night, he thinks about how damn lucky he is to have them all. And how he would never want to go a day without them.

**Author's Note:**

> Did you enjoy? Please leave kudos and comments before you go!!!


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